It's Like This

Did you ever know that it was possible to have five (or more) valid New York State driver’s licenses at the same time?  Here’s what happened.

About a month prior to my birthday this year I got a notification from the New York Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) stating that my driver’s license would expire on my birthday.  No problem!  I went to the DMV Department in my local county building.  I was given a rudimentary eye test, apparently passed it, and was told to go to another line where I was issued a temporary license to expire in 90 days, and told I would receive a new license in a week to ten days, after forking over $72.50.  As my license that I’ve had for the past 8 years was still valid I now had two valid licenses.  Sure enough, a few days later I received, via U S Mail, a new New York State driver’s license.  That made three valid licenses I now had in my possession.

Things went along fine for a few days until I lost my wallet.  However I know where my lost wallet is.  It is baled up in a large round bale of hay.  I should cut the bale open and retrieve it, right?  The only problem with that solution is I don’t know which of 32 bales it is in.

So, I returned to my local county building again.  I told the sweet young thing at the license counter that the morning before I had a valid license, but by night I no longer had one.  After she thought about that for a minute or so she said, “What?”  I then told her I had lost my wallet the previous day including my newly issued New York State driver’s license.  She gave me a form to fill out, which was not too difficult, and then I returned it to her.  She looked it over, presumably to make sure I was not a foreign agent of some sort, approved it, and once again sent me to the line to pay for my mistake.

The lady at that window asked if I wanted to renew my license?  I told her no, I had done that three weeks prior.  She asked then why was I there, and I told her I wanted a replacement license as I had already lost the new one from a few days prior.  Then she apparently understood the situation, typed something into a computer, and told me that would be $17.50.  I told her it sure was expensive to talk to these people.  About thirty seconds at each of two windows was $17.50.  She did not express any humor in that.  I gave her the money, and we stared at each other for a moment.  I asked, “What next?”

She said, “What do you mean?”

I asked, “Are you going to give me my license or what?”

She said, “Oh, this machine will print you a temporary 90-day one in a moment.”  She was correct, the machine began to rattle away, and she handed me a new temporary license with the statement that I would receive a new valid license within a week or ten days.  Although I could not actually put my hands on one of them, I now had four valid NYS driver’s licenses.

A few days later, just as the lady said it would, I received yet another valid NYS driver’s license in the good old U S Mail.  This made me yet a fifth valid license.  As today is my birthday, meaning the one I’ve had for eight years is still valid, I right now possess five valid NYS driver’s license, albeit one of them is a little hard to present to a law officer if the need should arise.  Pick a bale, any bale, it might be in there.