The Possessed Heating Pad

As I was having some muscular problems in my left shoulder area my granddaughter delivered a small heating pad to my home.  It was her idea that possibly if I placed it on my bed under my shoulder it might relieve some of the discomfort, and actually aid the recuperation.

She showed me the pad, about 16” X 24”, and gave me the following instructions.  Plug the cord into a receptacle.  There are four green buttons on it.  Each is for a different heat setting.  Four may be too hot, so try it on three first.  That was simple enough.  How could I go wrong?

As I prepared to go to bed yesterday evening I dutifully placed the heat pad about where I thought it would be the most beneficial.  I pushed the green # 3 button as instructed and retired on the pad.  Soon my lower back seemed almost too warm, and my shoulder not particularly warm at all so I decided the pad was hotter on one end than the other.  I roused up, moved the pad higher up in the bed with the cooler end under the pillow, bringing the lower part up under my shoulder.  That seemed about right.

A little later, not knowing if I had slept or not, I noted the pad was only as warm as my body.  It seemed not to be heating.  I found the control next to my pillow, turned it toward where I could see it, and it had this big red eye blinking at me.  Now that didn’t seem right, and the granddaughter hadn’t mentioned anything at all about a red light, only four green ones.  After considering the situation for a few seconds, I decided maybe placing the end of the pad under the pillow caused it to be too hot, and it went into a reset mode.  I placed that end of the pad on top of the pillow, punched the red eye, and instead of blinking it came on steady.  Progress, or regress, I didn’t know.  I punched the # 3 green button and once more the pad began heating as when I first lay down.  It should run for the night now.

A while later I noted, once again, the pad seemed to only be body temperature.  This time I grabbed the control expecting to see a blinking red light, and I was not disappointed.  Once more I punched the malevolent red eye and the cursed blinking stopped.  I punched the # 3 button for the third time, and all seemed well with the world once again.

Yet later I once more noted the pad had quit heating.  Upon checking the control, again the red light was blinking.  I’d had enough of this nonsense.  I followed the cord with my hand in the darkness to the wall receptacle, pulled the plug, and tossed the bewitched pad on the floor.  Sleep came and I made it through the night.

This afternoon I was explaining to my granddaughter what a restless night I had experienced with the goofy blinking red light instead of the nice glowing green I was expecting.  She then informed me that there was a 45 minute timer on it.  At the end of that time the pad control shut off, and a red blinking light announced the fact.  Now she tells me.